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usuk306
ben_studly is a complete cunt

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Name:	MATTHEW

Details:	41 years old (Leo), Male, Single, Straight

Location:	Derbyshire, United Kingdom

Profile Link:	www.faceparty.com/usuk306

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In my own words

AN OCTOPUS WALKS INTO A BAR AND SAYS I CAN PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENT YOU LIKE. AN ENGLISHMAN GIVES HIM A GUITER WITCH HE PLAYS BETTER THAN HENDRIX. THE IRISHMAN GIVE HIM A PIANO WHICH HE PLAYS BETTER THAN ELTON. THE SCOTSMAN THROWS HIM A SET OF BAG PIPES. THE OCTOPUS FUMBLES ABOUT FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES AND THE SCOTSMAN SAYS WHAT'S WRONG CAN YE NO PLAY IT? THE OCTOPUS SAYS 'PLAY IT?-I'M GONNA FUCK HER BRAINS OUT ONCE I GET HER PHJAMAS OFF!....A convict breaks in to a house, and ties up the husband and his wife. He jumps on the wife and kisses her ear, then runs into the bathroom. The husband whispers to his wife Satisfy him, or he'll kill us. I saw the way he Kissed you, just be strong i love you! The wife replies He did'nt kiss me he whispered in my ear he's gay, horny and looking for vaseline. I told him it's in the bathroom. Lets see who's fuckin strong now.

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untitled

A Cucumber, a Pickle & a Penis were talking about there lives. The Cucumber said my life sucks, when I get big fat a juicy, they cut me up & toss me on a salad. The Pickle said when I get big fat and juicythey cover me in vineger & throw me in a jar. The Penis said u think thats bad when I get big fat & juicy they pull a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, damp room & bang my head against the wall til I throw up & pass out!