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4 entries  
Talking dirty wrote
I get really weirded out by trying to talk dirty.

I realise that I cant say words like, 'cock', 'sex' or 'flick that bean' without giggling like a 5 year old school girl.

Then, when i giggle, my moobs wobble.
Which makes me laugh more.
Then my belly goes, so I chuckle a little more.

Then, in fits of laughter, jelly belly wobbling, man boobs swaying, she leans over and says "Seargent Sausage is going to meet Captain Cludge".

WELL... forgive me if I wee a little.

Watersports any1
bedtime wrote
So, I was dared by alex to shout his name, as I came on this fatty last night.

So I did.

I was supposed to be videoing it, but I had it on the wrong setting... this is kind of how it went.



"You wha.... OMG, ANDY"

She didnt laugh.
She was more confused by the fact that I half jizzed in her, half on the bed, crying with laughter at my misfortune with the camera.

Okay.. at the time it was funnier.

I do however, have half a picture of
Damn Display Pics wrote
Chatting to my mother on msn...
I forgot to remove the pic of my hardon as my DP.

I felt so ashamed

She said I take after my dad

HOW SICK.. especially considering he's dead.
Asda Life wrote
So, I'm in Asda & the woman on the self service till infront is there scanning her items.
And she is FAT, & I dont mean just a little porky, she is one massive heffer.
Now, she gets to a pack of Adios slimming tablets in her basket, which are security tagged.
So, she turns round, sees me, mistakes me for a member of staff and passes me the pack to remove the tag.
Now... I cant help it, I had to take the piss, so I said;
"Sorry love did you make a mistake, I'll go get the cake".

She wasn
4 entries  

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