| 4 entries | | |  | | | | Talking dirty | wrote | | I get really weirded out by trying to talk dirty.
I realise that I cant say words like, 'cock', 'sex' or 'flick that bean' without giggling like a 5 year old school girl.
Then, when i giggle, my moobs wobble.
Which makes me laugh more.
Then my belly goes, so I chuckle a little more.
Then, in fits of laughter, jelly belly wobbling, man boobs swaying, she leans over and says "Seargent Sausage is going to meet Captain Cludge".
WELL... forgive me if I wee a little.
Watersports any1 | | | | | bedtime | wrote | | So, I was dared by alex to shout his name, as I came on this fatty last night.
So I did.
I was supposed to be videoing it, but I had it on the wrong setting... this is kind of how it went.
*MASSIVE CAMERA FLASH*
"OH ALLLLEEEXXX"
"You wha.... OMG, ANDY"
She didnt laugh.
She was more confused by the fact that I half jizzed in her, half on the bed, crying with laughter at my misfortune with the camera.
Okay.. at the time it was funnier.
I do however, have half a picture of | | | | | Damn Display Pics | wrote | | Chatting to my mother on msn...
I forgot to remove the pic of my hardon as my DP.
I felt so ashamed
She said I take after my dad
HOW SICK.. especially considering he's dead. | | | | | Asda Life | wrote | | So, I'm in Asda & the woman on the self service till infront is there scanning her items.
And she is FAT, & I dont mean just a little porky, she is one massive heffer.
Now, she gets to a pack of Adios slimming tablets in her basket, which are security tagged.
So, she turns round, sees me, mistakes me for a member of staff and passes me the pack to remove the tag.
Now... I cant help it, I had to take the piss, so I said;
"Sorry love did you make a mistake, I'll go get the cake".
She wasn | | | | | 4 entries | | |
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