| 3 entries | | |  | | | | My New Diet | wrote | | After my successful pork stratching diet and several heart attacks i have decided the time has come, i will try and get into my size zero speedos for my summer trip to Croydon.
I've heard that letting your nails grow and eating the black stuff that gathers in between them is a great way to lose weight. I also heard that if you whack a hammer in your crown jewels when you feel hungry you tend not to eat much either. It sounds like a plan, wish me luck. | | | | | wrote | | | Today i have decided to put on 4 stone in an attempt to grow some man boobs and do a truffle shuffle. I will start by eating lard on toast followed shortly after with pork scratchings for pudding. I then plan to cook some really cheap burgers and nibble on the white scrum thats left behind in the tray. | | | | | wrote | | Today i learnt that you shouldn't go jogging on the outside lane of the M1.
I also discovered crisps taste much better when you remove that foil wrapping with all the writing on. | | | | | 3 entries | | |
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