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ismear
it's hard to be humble, when your so fucking big
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5 entries  
Social Situations wrote
Im shit at them.

I will sit there and do nothing in the fear of rejection instead of actually talking to someone and getting a bit of the oooh laa laa so to speak.

I don't know why this is, it isn't something I have worked on being shit at, actually it isn't something I have worked on at all - hmm maybe that is the route of the issue.

Ah well, Im sure I will still carry on in my mute ways, achieving nothing and wanking through my tears to some random porn online...
Slow people on the underground wrote
Now getting about on the London Underground is bad enough but slow people make it that little bit worse.

On the way home today I missed the tube and had to wait an extra 2 minutes because some decrepid had to hobble down the middle of the steps.

Use the handrail love, they are there for people like you.
Work makes you tired wrote
especially when you were under the illusion you were in for a doss day.
Nothing of the sort, blimey just about to settle down with a cup of coffee and I was sent out with one task to complete. 5 hours later I return having done 3.

Ok I suppose its not a bad return for the day and I probably achieved more than anyone else today, however it is the reason why I am now sat in bed at 6 in the evening struggling with the whole keeping the eyes open scenario.

I guess I have earned my beers on
My type of woman wrote
I have been asked many times what my type of woman is.
This is a hard question to answer really as to be honest I don't really have a particular type, this is probably translated into having no standards but hey I don't really try so you can't complain.

Now there is one rule really, well two actually - no drugs, no kids.

Two separate conflicts of interests, drugs is self explanatory, and I have no interest in children. Sounds harsh but hey you can guarantee Im not some sort of Peado...
The riddle of the magic pockets wrote
Im not joking, everytime I seem to put any form of paper money in my trouser pockets, it dissolves.

I mean come on, I know I was sat in the pub BUT I didn't move from the chair. Then the moment I have a dig about for the £20 I had saved for the kebab shop on the way back, it was gone.

My work trousers are the same, fukkin lost another £20 out of those too, on two separate occasions...
5 entries  

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