| 5 entries | | |  | | | | untitled | wrote | | 7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it; couldn't be new then could it?
8. When people say life is short. What?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here? | | | | | untitled | wrote | | 4. When people say It's always the last place you look. Of course it is. Why on earth would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people actually do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film did you see that?. No, I paid £12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6. People who ask Can I ask you a question?.... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? | | | | | untitled | wrote | | 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it too. Too right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? | | | | | How to spot a liar | wrote | | | Lie is usually manifested by these signs: a sudden increase in the number of ums and ahs., overly defensive, no eye contact, lying is stressful, they will try to be sarcastic, turning his body away from you, talking fast, making statements that contradict each other, unusual body language or a hand reaching to cover mouth. | | | | | facts 2 | wrote | | If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it!)
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig!)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig thing!) | | | | | 5 entries | | |
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